If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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