everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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