so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
