that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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