The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
