Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
