I just saw a hot homeless man
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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