thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
