Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
whose parrot is this?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
