Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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