But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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