Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize