Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
