After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
