dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
