I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
