How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
