Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
