billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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