Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
