he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
