How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
