she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Randomize