I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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