is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
