They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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