Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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