he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
