Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
