I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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