I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize