Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
