just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
