Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Shame - the story of my life.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
