So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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