Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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