dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
