Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
