She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize