Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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