if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize