I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
