i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
