I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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