I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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