Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
