i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
