Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
