Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
