people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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