shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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