Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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