I'd wear matching sweaters with you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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