I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so let's talk penis.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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