hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
