fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize