Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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