there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
