Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
