They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
