i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
