$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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