Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
